I am wondering if I am the only person on the planet that feels this way. I am in need of some advice from my great blogging friends. What do you do with your kids?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Boy/Girl?
I am needing some advice. I have a fourteen-year-old son who has a great group of friends. They are all really great boys. So great, that lots of girls want to "hang-out" with them. Every weekend, girls are wanting to get together with them. My son is the only one of his friends that is opposed to this situation. So, what should I do as a parent? Will I raise a geek with no friends if I don't allow him to go to these boy/girl parties? I really feel like you don't "hang-out" with girls until age 16. If we are letting these young kids hang out together at age 14, what will they be wanting to do at age 16?
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Blake
My favorite person in the whole world!
Christian
"Supe" erman
Rachael
Our Princess
Ethan
EE
7 comments:
First I must mention that your title had me curious... I thought you might have been referring to boy/girl as in baby... not teenager! But since it's not... Luckily I am "not quite there yet"... but I think it depends on the situation. If it is kids getting together to watch a movie... I wouldn't like that... if it is kids running around outside on a nice warm evening with tons of other kids, probably not as bad?? I think in some ways it is good for kids to know that it is "OK" to be just friends with someone of the opposite sex. And to talk to them... not text them. I see that as a huge weird social thing lately! But in the end I don't think your dang cute boy will miss out on a social life if he doesn't go! (BTW I've heard he's "dang cute" from a couple of my daughter's friends!)
Hmmm. How would it be to have a social teenage boy? Mine is happy to stay home or just hang with the guys -- no girls on the scene as of yet. (Maybe they're not into basketball like these guys are.) I'm thinking that an occasional boy/girl get-together, like the ones Angie mentioned is good. But every week is probably too much. What about once a month? And if your guy doesn't want to go, great! He could arrange for just the guys to come hang at your house some weekends. Really, I have no experience with this, so take my adivce with a grain of salt. :)
Oh the perils of teenagers! I wish you luck. I now have three of them in my house, YIKES! It has been our expirence that if the activity is like a date (going to the movies, a fun center, someone house for a video etc) we would tell tell him sorry. I don't think that following the commandments in the long run will cause any kind of damage. Good for him thinking it isn't OK and for talking to you about it. Just follow the spirit and your mother's intuition. You will do fine. He sounds like a great kid!
First, I have to admit up front that I was probably one of those annoying girls. I certainly was at 15 and 16. Anyway, from my sad experience 14 is too young for most of the evening events that young teens go for these days. I do think that being comfortable hanging out with members of the opposite sex is very important to developing healthy dating/social/life relationships. If you're son isn't all that interested, I wouldn't be too worried. Just be totally open and honest when communicating about such things. That way you'll know if one of those hanging around girls is starting to be someone he's really interested in. That's when you should probably start to lose sleep. Good luck!
I totally agree with you! There's a time and season for all things. I definately think that hanging out with girls all the time can wait until they are 16.
I am so lucky because Jarrett still thinks girls stink.
Hi (I'm Rachel Finch's daughter btw) and I think that its totally ok if he doesn't want to hang out with his friends and those girls. My class has movie parties on weekends and aren't the best thing to go to, so I and some of my bffs skip them and have our own totally awsome sleepovers. I'll bet that if the situation got nasty he could call you. Hanging out with a big group of friends is fun it just gets bad when they break off into little pairs. Just trust him thats one of the most important things to todays generation.
Yikes, that's a tough one! I obviously have a handful of years to go before I have to worry about that...but, worry I will! I would imagine that to me...everything would depend on the circumstances. I don't think I would want it to happen very often. And, when it does...are there parents anywhere around? Do I know these kids?? Does my kid have a girlfriend/boyfriend that they are trying to get "date time" with, are other kids pairing off? And, then yeah...cuddling up for movies, staying out late,eh..I don't know about that. Playing night games in the neighborhood or going to a birthday party...we could talk. I don't think it would easy to come up with clear cut rules...I think if your child knew it was a concern of your and that each situation would have to be weighed, they would also use their own discretion before they bombarded you with requests. You could also talk to some of the other parents, explaining your dilemma. Chances are they might feel the same way but aren't tough enough to be the "mean mom" of the bunch. They might feel great relief to know you are on their side.
Good luck..
Mariel
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